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Denmark? March 26, 2008

Posted by Anders in Exchange student, Exchangeprogram, Feelings, High School, Norton, USA.
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I have done a lot of thinking lately. I know, it is not very healthy to think too much, but I do it anyway. What would happen if I stayed here?

It is just a thought I have been playing with in my mind. What if I chose to become an American citizen and settle down here. I mean, I am almost 17 years old, and time is soon to choose what I wanna do with my life. I’ve got a great girlfriend here, and everytime she is in my arms I would never want to leave, but at some point I have to let go of her. I don’t want that to happen. I could stay here and become a Senior at Norton High School and then finally experience the marching season in Band and maybe try out for Baseball, and I could get to graduate. And best of all, I could stay with Meg, or could I? She has to go to Kent State University, and she already got a room in a dorm, so I would only be able to see her on the weekends. Would I be able to live with that?

Another thing is, I already have a home back in little Denmark. That home has changed too, although. My dad’s got a girlfriend, and the group never really see each other anymore since Felix and Lullu broke up. Even my cat has changed, since it is limping on one foot. You kinda forget when you are away for so long that life doesn’t stand still, no matter how much you want it to. I come home to a changed life. I have to start a whole new education, make new friends, and start over again. I already did this twice, first when I came to Revere, and then when I moved to Norton. I had one advantage, though. I was foreign, I had no reputation, nothing to live up to, and I swear I act a whole lot different over here than what I did at home. I have grown alot during this stay.

But do I really want to stay in USA? There’s things here that bothers me, for example the Bush administration, the way Americans sue each other, some of their cultural stuff, but since I’ve been away from danish culture so long, I’ve kinda forgotten the bad things in my culture. There is bad thing everywhere in this world, even in little Denmark, even though I can’t remember any right now.

This post didn’t answer any of my questions and for now I will leave them unanswered, but the time comes when I have to choose one of the two paths I can walk down, each path containing great joy and great pain. No matter which one I choose, it will bring sorrow and pain, because I have to leave one group of loved ones behind. The question is, which one do I leave behind…..?

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Comments»

1. louni - March 27, 2008

Dearest little Anders, don’t worry.
First of all I wanna tell you, that even though life back here has changed, it’s not everything that has changed. My life has changed too, and what I’ve learned from that is that changes don’t have to be bad. Even though your group doesn’t see each other a lot anymore, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have any friends back here in Denmark. I don’t think it’s because of Lullu and Felix breaking up, that the group doesn’t see each other anymore. I think it’s because all of you went to different schools (maybe except of line and felix) and all of you made new friends. It’s not like Line a Felix talk a lot to each other over here, and I don’t talk a lot to them either. We’ve all made new friends whom we hang out with, and we’ve all kinda started anew.
When you start at HTX you’re like a foreigner too. Almost no one of the new students know you, in fact only three people here know you, and we all love you! When you start you have no reputation. You can start from scratch, and the best part of it is, that every single student in 1.g can do that. You’re all new, and you’re all at same stage. No need to worry. When you started in school in the united states the other students knew each other, here they don’t. The only ones knowing each other is the older students, and we are all very openminded. Here students talk across classes and years, and there are no prejudices, and no hate.
At last we have the Megan “problem”. Of course you love her! And congratulations, I’m really happy for you, but there’s one fact you need to remember; it doesn’t last forever. She’s going to college where she will live, and she’ll make new friends. It’s like when people go to “efterskole” here. I’ve seen it before, and I’m not trying to make you sad or anything, but I’m just saying that there are some things you have to realise and remember.
Try to get the best out of that last little time you have left 🙂 I’m looking forward to seeing you again ❤

2. Faster Bente - March 30, 2008

Hei Anders
Thats life. Everything changes, not because you are over there, but because you and all your friends are going different ways. It´s hard because you say goodbey to the well nown and secure, and say hello to an insecure exiting new world. Thats what we call growing up, and life as it should be. But be sure your family will allways be there for you, and your old friends will appear again if your really are close. Love is a big thing and when you are in love you never think that anything can change it, but believe me you will meet the big love again. Enyou the happines now, and you will allways have at wonderfull memery. As you say, you will part anyway because of schooll. If you really want to keep in contact, it can be done even though you live in Denmark, where you belong.
Love from Faster Bente

3. Simon - March 31, 2008

Hey Anders! This is Simon Speaking, ehm, well, just to clearify, that crazy ass idiot that played Trombone 🙂 I was sitting being awfull borred, When i came to think of your blog! And wonderd if you were updating it as you were still in the states! And well, you did!

First of all! Thanks a bunch for the christmas card! i know i’m a wanker to first say this now, but as you, i’ve hard enormus changes in my own life… anyways! It seems you’ve settled very well over there! even though, coming back seems hard for you. I’m currently at “Efterskole” So i can kind of understand your thoughts, since i’m also facing saying goodbye to friends and go back to the life i had before, one thing is that i’m a changed person, but also that what i come back to will be changed.

I feel a tears starting in my eyes when i think of the day i have to leave my efterskole, i can imagine what you must feel like, having to leave from a country so far away!! must be awfull!

Well, i’ll end my little awnser here! If you need someone to talk to:) well, just mail me 🙂

Glad i found this blog of yours 🙂

-Simon

4. ARHostmom - April 3, 2008

Anders,

The things you are thinking about are normal for someone on exchange. It is called “reverse culture shock” something like the culture shock of the US when you first arrived…but in reverse about going home. Just like you learned and grew while you made adjustments to living in Ohio, there will be adjustments as you learn and grow after you return to Denmark. It won’t be easy like it wasn’t so easy when you came here. Come to think about it, so much about going on high school exchange is NOT easy, but it IS worth it.

You would have changed and grown had you not come on exchange, you have just done it in a different way because of your experience on exchange. You may have met others who returned from exchange saying “it changed me or my life” and now you have seen for yourself what they meant. Your dearest family and friends have also changed and grown just as they would have if you were with them, you just haven’t seen it daily.

It will be a challenge when you return and the more successful your exchange year in the US, the more you will miss it and the people you have grown to know and love.

About Meagan, yes that will be hard having to say goodbye for now and yes it will hurt. Remember though you have several months left to be where you are and enjoy the life you have now. If you are afraid of the hurt of saying goodbye, remember what you would have missed had you not met her and fell in love with her. Sad hearts are hard to fit in your suitcase, but they do heal and feel happiness again.

These are just some words of advice from a far away host mom to other boys who have experienced many of the same feelings as you. If you need support or more help in preparing for and coping with reverse culture shock, you may want to speak to your agency representative or host parents. Some agencies have an orientation similar to the one you had when you first arrived to help you with the return into your home culture. Remember you did not begin to feel “at home” right after you arrived in the US and it may take some time to feel “at home” again once you return. You are now a person of two cultures and see things a little differently than you did almost 9 months ago. 🙂

Take care and know there are many people who are willing to help you if you let them know you want it.

ARHostmom/Abejareina

5. Franklin - April 5, 2008

I just read your description and I live a few miles north of Akron. I just thought that was cool.


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